kentmcfuller:

do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man


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625,022 notes - Posted 1 month ago

jumpstmovies:

When you’re talking to a hottie and your friend says something stupid.
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14,787 notes - Posted 1 month ago

cocobutthead:

how the heck do they make carpet


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120,273 notes - Posted 1 month ago

frickin:

I finally realized being happy comes naturally. If you try and force yourself to be happy, you will end up 10 feet deeper in sadness


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74,450 notes - Posted 1 month ago

leassvengers:

so I bought my mom this cup with a hot dude having coffee because my mom is fun and i thought this might like her.

image

BUT THEN I SERVE MYSELF COFFEE IN IT AND TURNS OUT THAT WHEN THE CUP GETS HOT

image

THE DUDE LOSES HIS PANTS AND THAT’S COFFEE AND PORN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF SORCERY THIS IS!

(Source: sassyrocket)


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160,073 notes - Posted 1 month ago

But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends.

But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly.

You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable.

Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives:

First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed.

That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life.

It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen.

The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?


Aziz Ansari, Buried Alive (via hahry)

(Source: mark-my-wordss)

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themoonphase:

I think the biggest turn on is knowing you turned someone else on.


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248,466 notes - Posted 1 month ago

the-wayiseeit:

duuuuude
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561,401 notes - Posted 1 month ago

anthonykiedick:

my cats so fucking stupid we got some nice ass furniture around my house but she chooses the fucking fRYIGN PAN TO SLEEP IN
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